I Want My Innocence Back
by EmptySpiral5280
Summary: Hiei meets a sound demon from his past....Oh, just read it and find out the rest. Disclaimer I do not own YYH...I do own Otonami, though.
1. Chapter 1

-1 I Want My Innocence Back

Chapter One

Introductions

I ran to the nearest temple I could find; it belonged the psychic Genkai. She almost attacked me, but stopped once she saw that I was covered in my own blood.

"Yukina!" she called into the temple.

"Yes, Master Genkai?" a young woman with blue hair and crimson eyes said coming to the doorway. I assumed she was Yukina.

"Help," I said.

"Prepare a room for her," Genkai said.

Yukina nodded and lead me to a sitting room before going off to prepare a cot. The old woman knelt beside me and held her hands over my shoulders. I was submerged in a glow of blue spirit energy and closed my eyes as it invaded my system to purge the destruction.

"What happened to you?" she asked once I was healed.

"I was attacked by a huge animal of some sort; I didn't get a good enough look at it before it ripped my shoulder open," I said.

"Hmm. Do you want to stay for dinner; you must be hungry."

"Thank you," I said.

Yukina entered the room just then. "Her room's set up, Master Genkai, but I'm afraid there won't be enough rooms if everyone chooses to stay the night," she said.

"I don't want to put anyone out," I started.

"Don't worry about it," Genkai said. "Hiei won't sleep in here anyway."

"Hiei?" I asked nervously.

I had known a Hiei while I lived in the Makai plane. He was a cold and ruthless killer, but the only reason I even considered that they might be the same was because that my Hiei never slept indoors, either.

They both ignored my confusion, that or I had spoken at a frequency too high or low for them to hear. I was willing to bet it was the latter. Oh well, I figure out if they were the same person soon enough because a group of four guys walked in a minute later. One of them had black hair that he slicked back with too much gel. There was a human with an orange pompadour and another boy who was definitely not really human, although he was seemed like it at first glance. Then I saw Hiei. When he looked at me, he quickly glanced away, which caught the others' attention.

"You know her, Hiei?" Slick asked.

"Hn."

"Care to elaborate?" I asked, earning strange looks from the rest of the group.

"Shut up, Onna," Hiei said glaring at me.

I rolled my eyes at him and went to introduce myself to the rest of the group. "Hi, I'm Otonami," I said brightly.

"Urameshi Yusuke," Slick said.

"Kuwabara Kazuma," the orange haired human said.

"I'm Kurama," the redhead said. I already liked him better than the other two.

"Hi, Hiei," I said. He just glared at me. I glared back, waiting for him to blink, but I blinked first. "You've gotten better at that," I said.

He just walked away from me, so I went to help with dinner


	2. Chapter 2

-1Chapter Two

Dinner

We sat down to eat, and Kurama asked, "How do you know Hiei?"

"Hn. Shut up , Kitsune," Hiei snapped.

I rolled my eyes and said, "We knew each other a long time ago. We were in the same band of thieves," I said. "There's not much more to say."

Actually, there was a lot more to add. My parents had sold me to the group of thieves because they wanted the money, and I was subjected to all kinds of torture. Most of the men thought of me as a plaything or a way to release their anger at one thing or another, but Hiei never abused me in anyway. He would ignore me, just like he did to every one else. I used to find the tree he was sleeping in at night and sit under it and cry when I was first sold. I'm sure he heard every dark secret that I had, yet he never judged me. I couldn't run to him for protection because that would show weakness, and in Makai, that was a very bad idea. I had asked him to buy me from the leader of the group and set me free, but he refused and wouldn't speak to me for weeks. Shortly after he began to speak to me again, he left, and I had to find some way to escape because I had no reason to stay.

"So, what kind of demon are you?" Kuwabara asked.

"Sound. Would you mind leaving me in peace so that I can eat?"

No one said anything else until all of the dishes were cleared from the table.

"Otonami, I was wondering if you could help me find my twin brother," Yukina asked.

"What do you know about him?" I replied.

"Not much, just that he had a hiruzeki stone that matched the one my mother gave me around his neck," she said.

I opened my mouth to tell her when Hiei infiltrated my mind. _Tell her and I will make whatever those bandits did to you seem harmless, _he said, well, thought. So, instead I replied, "I never saw anyone with a hiruzeki while I was in demon world."

"Oh," she said sadly.

"I'm sorry," I said, although I was sorry that I had lied to her. I decided that I would have to have a talk with Hiei about lying to his sister who obviously wants to find him, but for now, I wanted to sleep off the rest of the injuries on my body.

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I must have at least 3 reviews or I will not post the third chapter…


	3. Chapter 3

-1Chapter Three

Freedom!!

"Hiei," I said the next morning when I entered the living room.

"Hn. What?"

"I need to talk to you."

"Talk, then," he said, not even bothering to look at me.

"I don't think you want me to announce _everything_ I know about your past to everyone in the room," I said.

_Fine. What did you want to talk about? _he asked in my mind.

_First off, how did you learn to do that, and second, why won't you tell Yukina who you are? _I asked.

_I got a jagan implanted, and why I don't tell my sister who I am is none of your business, Onna._

_Tell her, Hiei,_ I thought.

_Maybe I'll take you back to the bandits, I'm sure they'll pay me for returning you…_

_I'll run away again. By the way, I blame you for everything they did to me._

_How is it my fault?_

_If you had let me go, I would still have my innocence. _

_Did you give it to them?_

_No._

_Then you still have it. _

_You aren't making any sense…_

_Hn._

_Care to elaborate?_

_Shut up._

With that he left my mind, and I punched the wall next to me. Kurama gave me a quizzical look, but shrugged it off. I guess he was used to people having mental conversations around him. Yukina looked at me, as well but didn't comment, either.

"What's going on?" Kuwabara asked.

"Nothing," I lied. I was debating on telling Yukina about Hiei but after another threat, decided against it. "You can't keep it a secret forever, Hiei," I said pointedly glancing quickly at Yukina. He glared at me like I'd never seen him glare at anyone before. Everyone else just stared at me, except Kurama who gave me a look that said "be careful what you say." I shrugged and walked out the door, but turned around when I heard the vibrations that could only be the voice of Renji, the leader of the thieves I had so recently escaped from.

"Hn. What made you change your mind, Onna?" Hiei sneered.

"R-renji is looking for me," I stammered.

"Renji?" Kuwabara asked.

"I just escaped him yesterday," I complained loudly.

"Hn. Do it again."

"Shut up Hiei. I'm sure he'd like to steal that-"

"Don't say it," he warned.

"What do you mean? I was only pointing out that you have something that he would find valuable," I said feigning innocence.

"You know exactly what I mean," he said. I could see in the sound waves from his voice that he was serious. He really didn't want Yukina to know.

"I'll tell if you don't go buy my freedom," I threatened.

"I'll kill you before you could."

"Tell who what?" Kuwabara asked, completely dumbfounded.

"I don't think that's such a wise idea, Otonami," Kurama said.

"I don't care. I know exactly what frequency to speak if he tries anything."

He shoved me out the door and followed. "Hn. Now, take me to Renji," he ordered. I lead him through the forest until we saw the small group of bandits that had come to capture or kill me, I wasn't really sure.

"Here," Hiei said, pushing me violently towards Renji.

"Arigato, Hiei," Renji said.

"Hiei," I said.

"What?" he said.

"Why don't you take me back? I don't want to go have my body abused like that again," I said.

"Hn. It's none of my business what they do with you."

I screamed really loudly and waited a couple seconds for someone to show up, and Kurama was beside Hiei in a few seconds, along with Yusuke.

"What did I miss?" Yusuke asked.

"Nothing, Hiei's just letting these guys take me back with them to abuse me anyway they can," I said.

I saw a look of pure rage in Kurama's eyes. Where had I seen that look before?

It was the same look in the fox demon, Yoko Kurama's eyes when he was about to steal something. He had joined the group shortly after Hiei had left, and took pity on me. I think he may have even loved me, but then one day, he just disappeared.

"I knew I'd seen you somewhere before," Kurama said to me.

"Excuse me?" I said, at exactly the same time as Hiei.

"You don't recognize my energy, Nami?"

I instantly recognized him and began to laugh hysterically. I saw the fear flash in Renji's eyes as Kurama reached into his pocket.

"What do you want for her?" Kurama asked.

"What?!" Renji and I both exclaimed at the same time as Hiei growled slightly.

"I'll buy her from you," Kurama said simply.

"That stone Hiei has," Renji said greedily.

"I'm afraid you misunderstood me," Kurama said. "I am buying her or killing you, whichever you prefer. Either way, under Makai law, she becomes mine."

"What do you have?"

"I am not a piece of property!" I protested.

"Shut up, Onna!" Renji said, covering my mouth.

"I have a mirai orb," he said as he pulled a silver orb from his pocket.

"Sold," Renji said, shoving me towards Kurama. "Just throw in a couple hundred ningen yen, and you can have her."

"It's too late. I already do," Kurama said, placing and arm around my waist possessively.

"Are you going to set me free, Yoko, or am I going to have to run from you, too?" I asked.

Renji and the group attacked the three of us. I shot a warning glance at Hiei and Kurama as I opened my mouth to destroy Renji's body. He had a low tolerance for sound, so I shrieked into his ear at the same frequency bats use for their sonar. His eardrums imploded and blood gushed from his ears. Kurama sliced him in two with his rose whip as Hiei sliced him the other way with his katana. The rest of the group ran.

"You don't have to stay, Nami," Kurama said, using the nickname he gave me, "but I would like it if you would."

"Of course, Yoko," I said.

Hiei growled again. "Hn."

I rolled my eyes and stuck my tongue out at him. "Aww. Don't be jealous, Hiei. You practically gave my innocence away, and now you refuse to give it back," I practically spat at him.

"What?" Kurama asked.

"It's nothing, Kurama," I said. "I asked him to buy my freedom before you joined the group, but he had already left by the time you joined. He also refused to pay my way out…"

Kurama and Hiei glared at each other, and a very confused Yusuke spoke up. "What's going on?" he asked.

"I don't really feel like explaining my situation to you. It's very painful for me to remember because the wound is so recent," I said.

"Hn. She was sold into slavery to the group of bandits I used to travel with, and basically, I wouldn't let her go. I guess Kurama joined the group after I left and obviously refused to pay for her as well," Hiei said acidly.

"Basically," I said, fighting tears.

"So, Kurama just bought her, or did he buy her freedom?" Yusuke asked.

"Whichever she prefers," Kurama said, glaring at Hiei.

"I'm free!" I exclaimed happily. "I can finally love whoever I want without worrying about being attacked by bandits!"

"It's getting really tense, for some reason," Yusuke pointed out.

"Let's go inside," I said brightly.

I know I was not meant to hear the comments that Hiei and Kurama made, but I have no control over the things I hear.

"That's right, Aijin, you're free to do whatever you want," Kurama said.

"Who will you choose, now that your heart is free?" Hiei muttered.

I gasped, and Yusuke looked at me worriedly. "I'm fine. I just heard something I don't think I was supposed to," I said.

"What did you hear?" he asked.

"Nothing important." I smiled, trying to cover the lie.

We reached the temple at last and I was met by questioning looks.

"You don't want to know," Yusuke said.


	4. Chapter 4

-1Chapter Four

Shopping

Hiei and Kurama came in a couple minutes later, refusing to explain what had just happened and why they were covered in blood.

"Does anyone have some clean clothes I can wear?" I asked, completely disgusted when I realized I had fresh blood on my clothes.

"I'll see if my girlfriend will lend you something," Yusuke said as he ran to the phone. "Hello. Is Keiko there? Hi Keiko. There's this girl who showed up at Genkai's temple, and she needs clothes that aren't covered in her own blood- Just for today….I think Kurama is going to take her to buy new ones….Okay thanks. Bye."

"When Keiko gets here I'll take you to the mall," Kurama said.

"Thanks," I said, glancing at Hiei who was staring out the window looking angry. "I'm gonna go wash some of this blood off me before Yusuke's girlfriend gets here."

I turned on the water and let it run over my body. I wrapped myself in a towel when I got out and brushed my hair. I stared at my reflection. A pale, sea foam-green-eyed girl with long, platinum-blonde hair stared back at me, and then there was a knock at the door.

"Keiko's here," Yukina said. "I have the clothes for you right now."

"Thanks," I said, opening the door slightly and taking the clothes from her. I slipped on the navy blue sweater and pulled on the jeans. I wrinkled my nose in disgust at my reflection because it looked too feminine. Oh well, it was better than being covered in blood.

I went into the living room, and introduced my self to the girl sitting next to Yusuke on the couch.

"I'm Keiko," she said, smiling at me.

"Thank you for the clothes," I said. "I'll probably give them back when I get back."

"I'm going with you," she said, surprised that I thought she was staying with Yusuke.

"What?" I said.

"Keiko and I are going, too," Yukina said.

"Oh, okay."

"Ready?" Kurama asked from the hallway. He had washed the blood from his face and changed into a long-sleeved shirt and jeans. I nodded and we went to the car.

We wandered around until I walked into a new age gothic store. I looked out of place, but that's because the clothes I was in weren't mine. I grabbed a few black t-shirts and a couple pairs of black pants. Kurama paid, and Keiko and Yukina all but dragged me into a different clothes store. I got a few pairs of jeans and some crazy shirts that may have been slightly too revealing, but if I wasn't going to get my innocence back, what was the point? Keiko and Yukina provided their opinions on the outfits I picked out. Kurama didn't say too much, but he watched in amusement as I tried on all sorts of crazy outfits.

"Shall we go back?" Kurama asked.

"Yes," Keiko said with a sigh.

So, we went back to Genkai's.

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Well, that's it for chapter 4...I'm going to update every Sunday, if possible, regardless of the amount of reviews I get. Let me know if you want Otonami to end up with Hiei or Kurama.

P.S. I'm planning on making this story 15-20 chapters long.


	5. Chapter 5

-1

Chapter 5

Eavesdropping

"Hn. Kitsune, I want to talk to you," Hiei said once we walked through the door.

"About what?" Kurama replied.

They went outside and I could see the anger in the vibrations that bounced off the wall. I couldn't hear them over the television and conversations in the room, so I cracked open the window to allow the sound waves in. I couldn't hear them very well, but I could read the sound waves.

"Why do you care how I know Otonami?" Hiei asked. "I thought you didn't get attached to people."

"You're not the most caring person, either," Kurama shot.

"Hn. Whether or no I am capable of feeling emotion is irrelevant."

"Otonami?" Kuwabara asked.

"What?" I snapped, furious at being interrupted.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine!"

"You looked like you were trying to read something on the floor."

"Leave me alone. I was trying to read the sound waves that were in front of me."

I focused again just in time to see the sound of someone being hit and a katana being drawn.

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Sorry this chapter is so short. You'll get over it, if not, then it sucks to be me. I promise that the next one will be longer to make up for this one, okay. R&R. I still need more votes for the whole Hiei Vs. Kurama thing. I've only gotten one.


	6. Chapter 6

-1Chapter 6

Babysitting

I threw the window open and jumped out. I saw Hiei with Kurama pinned against the wall with his katana.

"Stop fighting," I said.

"Did you hear any of that?" Kurama asked.

"No, but I saw it," I said as I removed Hiei's katana from Kurama's throat.

"Hn. How much?" Hiei asked, never taking his eyes off Kurama.

"I know what, or should I say who, you two are fighting over," I said through clenched teeth. "Kurama, I want to talk to you, alone." Hiei growled slightly. "Don't be jealous, Hiei, I'm going to have to lecture you on the importance of not killing your friends after I talk with Kurama."

I glared at Kurama, once we were alone in a side room. He blushed a little, but refused to say anything.

"Why did you hit him?" I asked.

"I thought you were reading our words."

"I was interrupted."

"Oh."

"Why would you hit him?"

"It was childish," he said slowly. "I lost my temper."

"What did he say to you?"

"Well…Umm…"

"Never mind. I'll just ask him myself."

I followed him and brought Hiei back with me.

"What do you want?" Hiei asked.

"What on earth would possess you to pull a sword out on a friend?" I asked.

"Hn. Why wouldn't I attack someone that's hit me?"

"Is that your excuse for killing all those bandits, too? They attacked you first? I know you coerced them into attacking you."

"Hn. You have no business complaining about me killing them," he said smugly.

"All I'm saying you must be good a coercing people into attacking you. What did you say to Kurama, anyway?"

"I told him that you need to be with someone who can protect you, not someone you need to protect," he said, still smug.

"Don't my feelings matter at all? Why would I prefer someone who let my innocence be stolen over someone who bought my freedom?" I yelled.

"Is that it, Onna?" he asked angrily.

"Yeah," I said as I crossed the room and slammed the door behind me. "Yukina!!"

"What is it?" she asked, walking into the hall from her room.

"Does the hiruzeki stone look like this?" I asked, holding a stone on a string out.

"Yes. Where did you find it?" she asked excitedly.

"Hiei had it. I don't think he knows I stole it, yet."

"I-"

"Otonami, give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you right where you're standing!" Hiei yelled.

"Oops!" I said to Yukina. "He knows now." With that I ran down the hall to find Kurama, just to prove what Hiei said was wrong. "Kurama, Hiei's gonna kill me," I said as I ran up to him.

"Why? Oh, never mind," Kurama said, noticing the hiruzeki stone in my hand.

"I may have told Yukina that it was his," I said.

I felt a hand grab my shoulder and spin me around. Hiei punched me in the jaw, and I ran to my room crying. I could have listened to him and Kurama yell at each other some more, but I buried my face in my pillow, pulling it close to my chest. I couldn't believe that he hit me, although, in Makai, most demons fought with each other, even spouses. Then again, I wasn't in Makai anymore, and Hiei had no right to hit me.

I heard a knock on my door and went to answer it. To my surprise, Hiei was standing in my doorway.

"What do you want?" I asked.

"I had no right to hit you," he said slowly.

"No, you didn't, but I'm used to being hit by people who have no right to hit me," I said icily.

"Hn."

"Care to elaborate?" I asked venomously.

"Hn. You're the only person who could get away with that," he said.

I smiled and slammed my bedroom door in face.

Sorry it took so long to post this chapter. Writer's block sucks. I haven't gotten a chance to talk with the friend I usually talk about my stories to for a while, so it's probably going to be a little while before I post again.


	7. Chapter 7

-1Chapter 7

I woke up the next morning to music playing down the hall from Kurama's room. I was confused, so I got dressed and went to his room to see. I knocked on the door, and he opened it.

"Nami, hello," he said.

"How do you get that music to play?" I asked as I entered the room.

"I place this disc in the c.d. player and press a button," he said.

"Oh."

He laughed softly. I started humming, making up my own counter melody to the soft violin and piano parts playing through the speakers. Kurama stared at me, so I walked out of the room and went for a walk.

I wandered through the forest until I saw a little stream. I sat down and stared at my reflection, trying to figure out what was so great about me. The black markings under my eyes made my skin look too pale, and my hair was naturally three different colors. I was too thin for my height because the stupid bandits never fed me. I didn't think that it was my personality because that was just too unpredictable.

I went back in around noon to ask a huge favor of Genkai.

"Genkai," I said nervously.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Umm, do you think it would be possible for me to stay here?"

"If you go to school," she said.

"What's that?" I asked.

"You go there to learn," Yukina said. "I have to go, as well."

"Is it horrible?" I asked.

"Nope. I'm in band, which makes it a lot more fun."

"Do they have choir, too?" I asked, excited. I knew music because I knew sound so well.

"Yes. We combine the boys' and girls' schools for music education, though."

"I don't care," I said. "Music is the greatest thing ever."

"Just be careful not to get into trouble with Koenma," Yusuke said. "I don't want to kill you; you seem pretty cool."

"I won't. I'm only about a D class, anyway."

"Hn. Pathetic."

"Oh, shut up Hiei," I said, flipping him off. I ran and hid behind Kurama just to prove Hiei wrong again.

"You don't have to hide from me, Nami," Hiei said. "I'm not going to hurt you."

"Liar!" I shouted around Kurama. "Besides," I said, moving next to Kurama and putting my arm around him, "at least, he won't hit me."

"Hn."

"Jealous?" I asked.

"No. Why the hell would I be?" he said, obviously hurt.

"Never mind," I said, dropping my hand.


	8. Chapter 8

-1Chapter 8

Early Tuesday morning, the alarm beeped at me, and I rolled out of bed, brushed my hair and teeth, put on my uniform, and applied cover-up to the dark markings under my face to make me appear human. My first day of school, and all I could think about was grabbing my oboe.

"Otonami, are you ready?" Yukina called.

"Yeah," I said as I walked down the stairs.

"You look so different without your markings," she commented.

"They didn't match the uniform," I complained.

She giggled. "Neither does your hair. What are you going to do about that?"

"Leave it. My hair is awesome."

"Let's go," she said.

About twenty minutes later we arrived at Kuwanari Academy for Girls. The Houshigaki Academy for Boys was right next door. I watched the boys walk into the school. They all seemed so plain. One redheaded boy caught my attention, though. _Crap, _I thought. _Kurama's right next door._ I sighed and followed Yukina into the building.

"Band and choir alternate days. Today's a band day, and it's first block," Yukina said, leading me around the building to a smaller building that was connected to both schools by a sidewalk.

The band director assigned me a seat next to another oboist and Kurama, who played the clarinet. I ignored him and looked at the other oboist. He had blonde highlights in his black hair, and his eyes were so pale blue that they reminded me of ice. His uniform jacket was unbuttoned, exposing a tight-fitting white tank top that showed off the muscles on his body. I shrugged and began to play a melody that I made up a few years back. I noticed him staring at me, so I stopped and asked if he had a staring problem. He said he didn't.

"Then, why are you staring at me?" I demanded.

"Are you going to challenge me for first chair?" he asked.

"Maybe," I said slowly, not fully understanding the question.

"My name's Higurashi Tamoutsu," he said.

"I'm Matsuda Otonami," I said.

"Where did you move from?" he asked.

"Nami," Kurama said, rescuing me from a very awkward situation.

"What?" I snapped.

"May I walk you home after school?"

"No. I'm walking with Yukina," I said, angry that he would try to monopolize my affection.

"Do you and Yukina live near each other?" Tamoutsu asked.

"Yeah," I said, not really paying attention to him because the band director was on the podium.

Class was a lot of fun; I didn't miss a single note.

Well, seeing as only one of you actually cares who Nami ends up with, I've taken a poll amongst my friends in school, and I now know how this story will end, it's just a matter of getting there. And, I decided to be nice and post two chapters instead of one tonight.


	9. Chapter 9

-1Chapter 9

A few months later, I was laying on the couch and looking over some vocal music when someone knocked on the door. The guys were already over for the weekend, along with Keiko. I got up and answered the door, and it was Tamoutsu.

"Hey, Tamoutsu," I said.

"Is it alright if I come in?" he asked.

"Umm… I'm not really sure-" I started, but Hiei had come to see what was going on.

"Who are you?" Hiei asked angrily.

"Relax, Hiei," I said. "He's a friend from band class."

"Oh, I'm sorry that I bothered you while you were spending time with your boyfriend," Tamoutsu said.

"God! He is not my boyfriend! I am not seeing anyone!" I yelled. Oops! I attracted more attention than I wanted. "You can come in, if you like," I added, stepping away from the door.

He followed me into the living room, where the whole group was now sitting. I sat on the couch.

"Nami," Genkai said, "your friend needs to go home. I'm expecting someone tonight."

"Okay," I said. "Sorry Tamoutsu you have to leave."

I walked him to the door and hugged him before he left before returning to my music. I tried to ignore the stares from Hiei and Kurama, both of whom were absolutely convinced that they were each the right guy for me. They were getting on my nerves, so I went to my room, but Yukina was listening to music.

I eventually settled on draping myself across the couch and staring Kurama down. He'd been getting on my nerves at school lately, and I hadn't seen Hiei since I'd accidentally hurt his feelings. I knew he cared, but it was a matter of getting him to admit it to me. It was more or less a race to see who would admit to loving a damaged soul first. Then there was Tamoutsu. He was a nice guy and all, a bit of a tough guy, but I could kill him without much effort at all.

"Hah! You blinked!" I shouted when Kurama blinked.

A teenaged boy in the most ridiculous clothing with a pacifier in his mouth walked into the room along with some crazy blue-haired chick with pink eyes.

"Hello, Koenma," Genkai greeted.

"Hello. Is this girl the demon you've been allowing to stay here?" he asked.

"Yes. I don't think she's much harm, but I'm afraid I might have to pull her out of school if ningen boys keep showing up on my doorstep."

"Otonami," Koenma said. "Stop encouraging them. You'll inform them all of Makiai's existence."

"I don't encourage them," I protested. "I tell most of them that I'm not interested in dating anyone." I made it a point to glare at Hiei and Kurama as I said that.

"Well, I'm afraid you're going to be pulled out of school. You will be under strict watch of Genkai, and any ningen that shows up here is to be told to leave, otherwise you will be sent back to Makai," Koenma said.

"Alright," I said, shrugging.

The blue-haired girl stayed behind, and Koenma left. She introduced herself as Botan. I shook her hand and went back to studying my music. I was so disappointed that I couldn't be a part of a music program. Oh well, that's my life, every good thing is ripped from my grasp.

I walked over to Kurama, put my arms around him, buried my face in his chest and cried as horrid flashbacks hit me all at once.

_An ugly demon, about six feet tall with three horns and horrible fangs appeared outside our home, my mother and father let him in. I was surprised because in Makai, you don't let just anyone into your house. They spoke shortly, and I was told to enter the room. The demon was introduced as Renji, and he told me to stand in front of him. I obeyed, and he looked me up and down. I tried to make myself as undesirable as possible, but he told my parents he would be by later that evening with the money to pick me up. I went back into the other room to finish cleaning._

"_Onna, come here," Renji commanded. _

_I'd tried to recoil from his touch, but that did no good. Another bandit shoved me towards him. Renji grabbed my by my hair and yanked me to my feet. There was a sharp pain in my side as he kicked me. I tried to hit him back and was thrown across the campsite. I just laid there motionless, but he picked me up and hit me repeatedly. I spent yet another night with the group of bandits fighting to stay conscious._

_When I had finally healed, the most horrific night of my life began. I don't even want to repeat the details. That was the night I lost all hope of ever having a normal life._

_I was on the ground, bloody and bruised. My right arm was possibly broken, and my left wrist bled heavily. I couldn't apply pressure to the cut to stop the bleeding and just lay there, hoping death would come quickly. My eyelids started to feel heavy after what seemed like an eternity, and I closed them. I felt myself being carried away and blacked out. The next morning I woke up with my wrist bandaged and my arm properly splinted. I knew I couldn't be dead because I was in too much pain for that._

"Nami?" Kurama asked. "Nami, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just like to cry for no reason," I said, not lifting my face.

He ran his fingers through my hair before putting his arms tightly around my waist, holding me firmly against him. Once I was done crying, I just stood there with my cheek against him. Hiei was on the windowsill, and I could have sworn he looked paler than usual. Was he trying to read my mind when the flashbacks hit? I didn't give it another thought, though because I felt like I was going to cry again. This time, I pushed away from Kurama and ran to my room, away from everybody else.

"Yukina, are you going to go out and talk to your brother?" I asked.

"No. I don't really want to right now. Are you alright?"

"No. I've been having flashbacks for no apparent reason," I said.

She hugged me quickly, then returned to her studying.


	10. Chapter 10

-1Chapter 10

I woke up the next morning and went to go find something to eat. Hiei refused to look at me, and I was actually okay with that because I would get his attention later. I got a bowl of cereal and ate it without saying a word; then, I went to watch TV. for an hour.

"Why are you ignoring me, Hiei?" I asked, finally.

"I'm not," he said.

"Oh. I could have sworn that you were."

"Why do you care?"

"Why wouldn't I? You're not mad about what happened yesterday, are you?"

"Hn. Why would I be?" he said aloud, then added in my mind, _I saw what was going through your mind. You needed comfort._

I decided to continue watching television. Only, I couldn't find anything worth watching.

"Onna, where are you going?" Hiei asked when I walked over to the door and opened it.

"For a walk," I said. "You're welcome to join me, if that wouldn't be too much trouble."

"Hn."

He walked out in front of me without saying a word. I ran to catch up with him.

"Hiei, why do you tolerate the crap that I do?" I asked.

"I'm not entirely sure why, but you don't bother me."

"I don't annoy you?"

"Why does that surprise you?"

"Never mind," I said, stopping to sit on the ground.

He sat next to me and put an arm around me. I looked at him out of the corner of my eye but didn't say anything.

"What?" he said.

"Nothing."

"Hn. Liar."

"It doesn't matter."

"So what? What are you thinking about?"

"Did you really just ask me that? Why don't you just break into my mind and find out for yourself?"

"I'd rather hear you say it."

I sighed. "I'll never understand you, not in a million years."

"You talk like you only have that long," he said quietly.

"What was that?" I asked.

"Nothing."

"Liar."

"Then we're even," he said, smirking.

"I'll tell if you will," I offered.

"I have a feeling you already know what I said, anyway," he said.

"Possibly."

I wanted to rest my head on his shoulder, but he was too short. I settled for resting my head on top of his, messing up his hair. He didn't seem to mind. 'This is what it's like to be loved,' I thought, and I swear I thought I heard him "hn."


	11. Chapter 11

-1Chapter 11

The sky was getting darker, and the wind was stronger. I could hear thunder way off in the distance, but I didn't feel like getting up. When it started to rain, I didn't even move; I had the feeling I'd be warm no matter what. It began to pour, and we were drenched within seconds. The wind began to howl, and the thunder clapped loudly overhead just seconds after the lightning flashed.

"It'd be a good idea to go inside now," Hiei said.

"Yeah, I guess so," I said, getting up. He followed suit, and we walked inside. I began to shiver, and Hiei flared his energy slightly, warming me. "Thanks," I said.

"It was nothing," he said as I opened the door.

When we were in the entry way, he flared his energy and dried me off completely. I knew better than to say anything around Yusuke and Kuwabara because Hiei tended to like secrecy more than others did. I'd come to find that secrecy was fun, as well.

I went to the room I shared with Yukina, who was out, thankfully. I pushed my left sleeve up and looked at the jagged scar. The wound was not meant to kill, but no one would have cared if it had. I remembered the slight tone of anger in Hiei's voice when he asked me about my injuries when he found out.

"_Oh, I looked Katashi in the eye last night," I said, staring at the ground._

"_I told you, Onna, you don't have to look at the ground when you speak to me. In fact, I'd prefer you to look me in the eye," he said._

"_Sorry," I said, looking directly into his crimson eyes. "None of them want me to even look at them, so it's a habit I've formed. Is something wrong with me?"_

"_What?"_

"_I don't get it, no one even bothers to look at me unless they're hitting me. Am I that undesirable?"_

"_I ask myself the same question every day," he said, walking away from me. _

A knock on my door brought me back to reality, and I quickly pulled my sleeve back down over my wrist. When I opened the door, Yusuke was standing in the doorway.

"Hey, Nami, Keiko's birthday is next week, and I don't know what to get her," he said, scratching the back of his head.

"How should I know?" I snapped.

"Well, you're a girl."

"Keiko and I are two entirely different people."

"What do you think she'd say to jewelry?"

"I don't know. I've never gotten a gift from anyone in my entire life. Why don't you just ask Yukina or someone who cares?"

"What's been up with you the past couple days?" he asked.

"It's none of your concern," I said, closing the door in his face.


	12. Chapter 12

-1Chapter 12

A couple weeks later, Kurama asked me if I wanted to go see a movie later on that evening. I figured there was no harm in a movie and agreed. After the movie, he bought me dinner, then walked me home. He said that he couldn't stay because he had to watch his younger brother.

"That's fine. Not like I care. Thanks for dinner, though."

"No problem. Maybe we could do it again sometime?"

"I don't know," I said. "That movie wasn't that great, and I kept getting weird looks at dinner."

"That would be because you forgot to put your cover-up on," he reminded me playfully.

"We'll decide when it comes to that," I told him.

"Do you have a cell phone?" he asked.

"A what?"

"Guess not. I'll call here later," he said, leaving.

I walked back inside, completely confused. "What's a cell phone?" I asked.

"Do you know what a phone is?" Kuwabara asked.

"Yeah, you talk into it, right?"

"Yeah. Well, a cell phone is kinda like that, only you can take it with you wherever you go," Kuwabara explained.

"Wow, the idiot actually explained something correctly," Hiei said, from the window sill.

"Shut up, Shrimpy!" Kuwabara yelled. I stepped aside to let them fight, only Kuwabara didn't seem like he wanted to try to fight with Hiei. I turned around to see if Hiei already had his katana drawn or something, but all I saw was a look of complete and utter rage in his eyes.

"Hiei, are you okay?" I asked.

"I'm fine," he said.

"Liar! Why do you insist on lying to me?!" I yelled, hurt that he'd treat me like that. _You're going to have to make your choice soon, Onna,_ he said in my mind.

_Are you that upset that I went to see a movie and had dinner with Kurama?_

_In human world, it's what's called a date. That's what humans do before they decide they do or don't want someone as their mate._

_Like I knew that. It seemed harmless enough to me._

_He's going to call here later, isn't he?_

_Well, he said he would. Why does that bother you? You never showed this much emotion before._

He had no response, so I went to my room to change into more comfortable clothes and pull my hair back. I came back into the living room, and Hiei was gone. Kuwabara and Yusuke said he went into the other room. The phone rang, and before I could reach the kitchen, Hiei had answered it.

"No, fox, she's not here," he said.

"I know she is, Hiei," Kurama said from the other line.

"Hiei, give me the phone," I yelled.

"Hn." He handed my the phone and walked away.

"Hi, Kurama," I said. "Why didn't you tell me that seeing a movie and eating dinner is a date?"

"I thought you knew," he said. I could hear the lie in his tone.

"Don't lie to me. God, that's all you and Hiei do is lie to me," I said.

"Nami, are you-"

"You know what? Just stop talking to me until you can tell me the truth."

"I didn't mean-" I hung up the phone before he was finished talking.

"Nami-" Hiei started.

"Just leave me alone, please," I said.

_What's been wrong with you for the past few weeks? _Hiei asked in my mind.

_I've been having flashbacks at random times, and most of them are painful,_ I replied.

_How so?_

_I don't want to talk about them. I've been doing good since this afternoon. I just need someone to make all of the pain go away._

_And you do that by pushing Kurama and me away?_

_You both push me away. Don't you get it? If you would both just try to understand what I'm feeling._

_I have a hard time understanding my own emotions, let alone yours,_ he thought.

_Hiei, I can't just choose between you and Kurama that easily. It's going to take a while. _

_Fine, but you owe me._

_I owe you what? _

_Well, you went on a date with Kurama, now you have to go on one with me._

I actually laughed out loud. _What would your idea of a date be?_ I thought.

_You'll see, eventually._

I didn't reply. I only went to commandeer the TV from Yusuke and Kuwabara. They didn't put up much of a fight, considering they knew what kind of a mood I was in. That and Keiko told them to shut up and leave me alone.

"Nami, the phone's for you, again," Genkai said, irritated.

I got up and answered it.

"Nami, I haven't seen you in school in a while," Tamoutsu said.

"Well, Genkai pulled me out to home school me because since I was placed in her care, I haven't been in the best mental state," I explained.

"What do you mean? You seem fine now."

"I'm actually quite mentally unstable. There's been talk of calling the nice men in white coats," I said.

He laughed. "No, really why are you at home?"

"I told you," I said, frustrated that he thought I would lie to him about something that serious, even if I was kind of lying.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go see a movie or something tomorrow night," he said.

"Listen, I don't really date," I said. The next thing I knew, the phone was yanked from my hand and Hiei had it against his ear.

"Listen, Kurama-"

"My name's Tamoutsu."

"Okay, Tamoutsu, leave Nami alone, or you won't be alive much longer," he shouted.

"Hiei! Stop threatening the boys that harass me!" I yelled. "I want to do it," I added, taking the phone back. "Tamoutsu, don't ever call me again. I don't like you."

"Why not?"

"No offense to your ego or anything, but I'm tougher than you are. I don't want a boyfriend who I need to protect. Not to mention, you're a bit of a poser."

With that, I hung up the phone and went to my room. Yukina was in there, reading a book.

"What's wrong now, Nami?" she asked.

"I just had to hurt a really nice guy's feelings," I said, feeling guilty.

"Was he ningen?"

"Yeah. He has no clue about spirit world or anything like that."

"Maybe it was for the best. I mean you still have Kur-"

"No!" I interrupted. "Just because they both like me, doesn't mean I feel as strongly about them."

"It doesn't take an idiot to see that you're in love with-"

"Shut up! I am not! Never ever say anything remotely like that again!" I interjected, embarrassed.

"You should tell him," she advised.

I rolled my eyes.

"Seriously, tell him."

"I don't want to," I said.

"Fine, but if you don't soon, you could lose him forever," she said.

"I will, next weekend," I promised.


	13. Chapter 13

-1

Chapter 13

Yukina had gone to school and Genkai was out buying groceries, so I was home completely alone and rather bored by it. I didn't feel like messing around with the keyboard or anything, so I just lied in bed all day, staring up at the ceiling. The flat white surface turned into a campground.

"_Hiei's gone," Renji said. "Now, there's no one to protect you."_

"_He never-" I started to say but was backhanded across the face._

"_Yes he did. Why else did you think we beat you only when we were mad? Now, we're going to do it for fun," another bandit said._

_I didn't understand what that meant, but would soon find out. When the group was through entertaining themselves, I ran and cried under the tree Hiei had usually slept in, knowing I would probably never see him again. That hurt more than anything the bandits had ever done._

I snapped back to reality and realized I was crying. I wiped my eyes on the back of my hand and got out of bed.

Sorry this one was so short. It's almost done!! Two more chapters to go!


	14. Chapter 14

-1Chapter 14

The weekend had finally arrived, and I was having second thoughts. I had a flashback the night before in my sleep. That one wasn't nearly as painful as the others had been.

"_Nami," the silver-haired fox said, placing a stray hair behind my ear, "you don't have to look at the ground when you talk to me."_

"_Sorry," I said. "It's a habit I've formed here."_

"_You shouldn't be subjected to this torment."_

"_Whatever, it doesn't even bother me anymore."_

_He pulled me into a hug, then quickly pushed me into a nearby bush as Renji and a couple others walked past. _

I ran to take a shower, and more flashbacks filled my head all at once. I got out of the shower and couldn't tell if my face was wet from crying or from the water. I guessed it was both.

That evening, when the guys showed up, I stayed busy in the kitchen with Yukina. She reassured me that everything would be fine, if I could do it.

"It's easier to say than do," I said.

"I wish I had more advice to give, but that's all I have," she said.

"That's better than nothing, I guess." I sighed when dinner was finally done, and we called the guys to eat.

"Are you alright, Nami?" Kurama asked as he sat down with his dinner.

"I'm fine. I've just had something on my mind all day," I said.

"What would that be?" he asked.

"I can't tell you," I said. "Leave me alone so I can eat."

After dinner, I decided to go outside and gather up my courage. I reminded myself that if I could take beatings as severe as I did, then this should be easy. Somehow, I found myself longing for a beating, if only I didn't have to do this.

"Nami," Hiei said, walking up behind me. "What's wrong with you today?" he asked.

I took a deep breath, it was now or never.

Hah! A cliffhanger, finally. I'm sure you all know how it ends now, or so you think. Please review and tell me what you think.


	15. Chapter 15

-1Chapter 15

Memories flooded my head as the air filled my lungs.

"_Hiei," I asked, "will you buy my freedom?"_

"_No, Onna. You're freedom is not worth any thing I have," he said._

"_Fine. Maybe if I'm lucky, Renji will kill me," I snapped._

"_Hiei," Renji called. "Have you seen that onna?"_

_I was shoved into a nearby bush just before Renji approached. _

"_No, I haven't. What did she do this time?" he said._

"_Nothing, I'm just in a bad mood. If you see her, bring her to me."_

"_Hn. Of course," Hiei said._

_I watched from the bushes in complete silence, too afraid to move. I'd only been with the bandits for a couple days and was still naïve and innocent. Years of beatings would soon change that._

"Nami? Did you hear me?" he asked.

"Yeah, I heard you," I said. Everything seemed surreal, like I was outside of my body watching myself. "Hiei, I love you," I said quickly.

He was speechless, and that worried me. I had no idea what it meant.

"Nami, I've been thinking, and I can't be with you," he finally said.

"What?" I said, hysterical.

"I don't want to hurt you. It's in my nature to kill; I can't get around that. But, I don't want to risk your life for my happiness."

"What about my happiness?! What if I don't care enough about my life?"

"Hn. Lucky for you, I do," he said.

"No, that's not fair! You can't do this to me, after all you put me through."

"I can and I am."

I was beginning to feel ill, and had to lean against a tree for support.

"You'll be happier with Kurama," he said, walking away.

I let my knees give out and collapsed to the ground, crying. Hiei didn't even so much as glance back.

I slowly got up and went back inside, ignoring everybody before going to my room.

Yukina came in a little while later.

"Nami, what happened?" she asked.

"He rejected me, and it's all your fault!" I cried. "If you hadn't convinced me, I wouldn't have let my guard down and gotten my heart ripped out and stomped on!"

She hugged me tightly. "I'm so sorry. I had no idea he'd react that way," she said, close to tears herself.

I cried on her shoulder for an hour before she got up to go take a shower, and I was so hurt that I held my pillow tightly against myself and cried. When I calmed down enough to stop crying, I went into the kitchen to take a sleeping pill or 20.

I went back to my room with the handful of pills and took them all with a glass of water. After about a half an hour I fell asleep, holding my pillow tightly against my chest.

That's it. Bet you weren't expecting that, were ya? Review because I really want feedback on this.


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